Welcome to Grump Bag

Spunking in the face of society since 2008
Feel free to have a poke around the mind of a madman

Thursday, 22 October 2009


That BNP man’s on telly today

What will he say

What will he say

He might do something racist today

What will he say

What will he say

I bet David Dimbleby wont let him get his way

What will he say

What will he say

That Steven Gately died the other day

And he was a gay

And he was a gay

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Deserves a slap

"Were having Christmas salad this year", my mum just announced.

I'm not in to beating women, especially mothers.

But I swear, I could have slapped her there and then.

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Film Idea


Imagine a world where the mystery of death is no longer a mystery.

Imagine a world where legions of paedophiles do battle against hapless infants

Welcome to Reincarnito.

Reincarnito is set in the specifically defined year of 2038, where revolutionary scientific research leads to the development of a wonder chip (not of the saturated kind). This chip, once inserted into the arm pit of a human, enables the conscious mind to travel from its deceased body to a post mortal destination.

It is Saturday, November the 11th, 2038. Strictly come Dancing is on, but amazingly, no one is bothering to watch it. The XR34-ZX Chip is being tested live, in front of a television audience more incredulous than those who witnessed Derren Brown ‘predict’ the lottery 29 years earlier.
The shiny metal prongs glimmer under the studio lights. The sweaty pit of the dead corpse glistens as the chip is inserted. The world waits. A two day old baby rings the programme and reveals all:

Reincarnation is a reality.

Basically, when the chip is mass marketed, everyone then kills themselves, so they can be reborn as babies, and have another stab at life. Everyone, except one group of course.

The Paedophiles.

Cue: Sci Fi / War/ Action flick documenting the savage battle between a fledgling infant society and paedophiles trying to take advantage of the situation, with moralistic undertones.

Limitations: Baby Actors.

Casting idea: Paedophile ring leader: Ben Affleck