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Saturday, 5 December 2009



Summary Minutes of the meeting of the
Epsom Paedophile ring society (EPRS)
Held on 15 September 2004 at 2.00pm
At Tommy Long fingers Flat

Present: The Fiddler (Chairman)
Pokey Paul,
Mr Chuckles,
Uncle Harry,
Tommy Longfingers.

Apologies: Garry Glitter (on vacation)


PK complained last month that not enough snacks are being provided at EPRS meetings.
TF has attempted to resolve this matter by providing two multipacks of Doritos ‘cool blue’ tortillas to this month’s group, along with ‘hot n tangy’ dip.
PK and others agree Doritos will suffice, however perhaps a wider range of dips would be nice. UH noted ‘wild herb’ is enjoyable. Available at ASDA, apparently.

2. Packet of Sweets & a cheeky smile; The end of an era?
P.D.F Delivers lengthy presentation concerning the emergence of a new, media savvy youth generation.
Tried and trusted Packet of Sweets and Cheeky Smile technique no longer a use in today’s modern age.
New ‘fishing tools’ needed on successful hunt : Nintendo DS, Hanna Montana DVD, IPod Nanos. TL raises issue of expense for such items. TL told to stop being a Tommy Tight Cunt.

3. Lubricant Test

MC brings in olive oil, an idea inspired from Gordon Ramsey’s popular Television Programme ‘The F Word’. While MC massages it on, supposed health benefits are explained: good for skin, nourishes hair, even rumoured to prevent cancer. Fails copper pipe test. MC sent to A&E.
PP tests butter. Much more effective. PP’s penis inched a fair way into TL’s ear.

4. Karaoke Competition

UH belts out interesting rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘Always be my baby’, however is outdone by reigning champ PK, this week singing Lionel Richie’s Classic ‘all night long’. UH's miniskirt and mascara a nice touch nonetheless.

Any other business

PP brings up persisting issue of ‘Nappy Rash’. Johnson and Johnson’s baby oil confirmed as suitable soothing solution.

Date of next meeting

The Commitee noted that the date of the next meeting was Tuesday November at 2pm at Chessington world of adventures (Half Term Week).

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