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Spunking in the face of society since 2008
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Saturday, 26 September 2009

Charlie and The Chocolate at Home

You will need:

100 bags of pickled onion monster munch

100 bags twiglets

10 1.5 litre bottles of Robinsons Strawberry & kiwi

Ice Cubes

1 Dog

25 curlywurlys

Coca Cola

Watering Can

12 boxes of Cadbury fingers


1) Empty 100 bags of monster munch onto kitchen floor, spreading liberally, to create a never
ending field of golden crisps. Run amok.

2) Pour contents of Robinsons strawberry and kiwi squash into bath, then add ice cubes. Turn on cold tap. Swim within the tranquil waters of your very own tropical tasting lake.

3) Fill Watering Can with coke. Ask friend to pour contents onto your head from above. Dance under a torrential downpour of coca cola rain.

4) Scatter twiglets around in your back garden, then crawl around on your hands and knees; grazing in a partly edible forest. Take care not scrape knees on gravel.

5) Heat curly wurlys gently in microwave, causing them to melt slightly. Apply to the coat of dog. Allow the mythical chocolate tasting beast to roam freely around your wonderland, sampling its delights when and where you wish.

6) Stuff face with constant flow of chocolate fingers in between activities to maintain general feeling of euphoria.

7) Calm down. Clean up.

* Works best if ‘pure imagination’ is played loudly in the background.

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